As I have talked about in the past, I have a extra soft spot in my heart for the process of adoption. Adoption at every angle. I personally have not adopted, placed a baby up for adoption, and I am not adopted myself. Yet, like most of you, I have been closely influenced/affected by the miracle of adoption.
My sweet mother-in-law was adopted. I am forever grateful to her birth mom for having the courage to place her in a home where she would be reared and loved in a way that would later prepare her to raise the most amazing son in the entire world. My best friend since kindergarten is unable to have children of her own, but has adopted two amazing, beautiful children (you will hear from her later in the week). And, I had college roommates and friends who made the courageous, difficult, and selfless decision of placing their baby for adoption.
I don't know why, but it has consumed my thoughts lately. So, I thought I would do something about it and spread the word about how incredible adoption is, and the kind of people it takes to make this miracle possible.
I want to continually post different perspective's and adoption experiences on my blog, so if you would like to share.. or have any suggestions for me, please contact me. I couldn't be further from a pro in this department, but I am passionate about it. I am willing to share helpful and useful information along, even if it were to help one single person somewhere down the line.
I want to share 3 stories with you over the next week or so.
First a perspective from a birth mom, then from a family who has adopted, and finally from a woman that has been adopted herself.
Meet Britney.
I went to high school with her husband, and although I have only met her a handful of times, I just adore her.
I started following her family blog years ago, and stumbled on to a personal blog she writes regarding her adoption experience. I asked her to share her story and her perspective as a birth mom. I received her email this morning, and even though I already know her story, I could barely read the computer screen because my eyes were filled to the brim.
She's incredible.
What a true example of selflessness and love.
This is her husband and little boy. Beautiful family, right?!
This is her husband and little boy. Beautiful family, right?!
This is the gorgeous little girl she so lovingly placed into a wonderful family. It is an open adoption and she keeps in touch with her a couple of times a year.
"I was raised in a religious family (we're members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints), but for some reason a part of me had always been a bit rebellious against the things I knew were right. I made the unfortunate decision to surround myself with a crowd of people who would bring out the worst in me, and I ended up pregnant. At 20, I had my beautiful baby girl. Those first six weeks were HARD (when are they not?) but I had my wonderful family supporting me. I was severely depressed, but over the moon in love with this sweet little spirit from heaven. I couldn't get control of my life or emotions (now I know I was experiencing postpartum depression). One Sunday, I fell to my knees, with nowhere else to turn, cried and cried and asked God what was wrong, why was this so hard? The answer came to me immediately, this sweet little spirit wasn't meant for me, there was a loving family waiting for her. I was shocked, but strangely completely at ease. I wouldn't even entertain the thought of adoption while pregnant. I immediately started going through profiles through my LDS adoption agency. It was a long process, but the second I saw her now family, I knew it was them. We met with them a couple days later and the decision was made. Six weeks after her birth I made the decision to place her for adoption. It was the hardest choice I've ever made.
We have an open adoption, meaning I see her throughout the year (now it's usually her birthday and during the holidays- when she was a baby it was every couple of months, it helped with the healing process). I can email/text/call her family whenever I want, and they do the same with me and my family. She is almost 7 years old now and is the most beautiful, intelligent, spunky little girl. She loves her family and they love her. She has an older brother who is her protector and best friend.
I have never once regretted my decision to place my baby girl for adoption. It still isn't easy, and I still find myself in tears once in a while, but I can attest to the fact that going through this experience has made me a stronger person and the happiest, most patient mother to my little boy.
I married in the LDS temple in 2008 to the most accepting, wonderful man. Our baby boy joined our family in August of 2011 and changed my world. Placing my daughter for adoption changed the way I view parenting and my son. I love everything about him. I have patience with him in situations I may not have had before and I cherish every single moment of his life. I know how going through his life without him would feel, so I make our relationship as strong as possible.
Making adoption to be something that is more accepted, more openly talked about, is a goal of mine. Open adoptions aren't strange anymore, and birth parents are now allowed to have relationships with their biological children, while allowing their child's parents to have their own family and not be scared that they are going to try to take their child back. It's all about love. Surrounding our children with love should be our number one priority, and the more people who love them, the better.
Adoption is beautiful. Adoption is hard. Adoption is love."
-Britney O'Connor
Thanks for sharing your story with us, Britney. You're just amazing. I know you will continue to impact so many with your decision and experience. I know you have made a huge impression on my life without even knowing you very well.
There are so many online and community support groups for people trying to make the decision on whether or not to adopt, or just to talk to someone going through similar experiences.
BABYCENTER.COM is a website I have used multiple times as a mom for so many different reasons. They have a birth mother support group. Just one of many. If you google local birth mom support group, you will find so many different options whether its an online or in person group.
A few adoption agencies that my friends have used.
**please let me know if you have any other websites, or contacts that have helped you so I can pass them along.
HAVE A GREAT DAY FREINDS!
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